FaceBreaker

FunkyJ | 6 October 2008 | 3 Comments
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Do not be attracted to the cartoony packaging and buy this game, for it is cursed.

If you do buy this game, do not open the packaging; do not pull the disc out, insert it into your xbox; and do not let the game auto load.

If you do let the game auto load, do not go to custom fighters and take a picture of yourself and make a custom fighter.

If you do make a custom fighter, do not select “Fight!” and jump right in, thinking the simple button mashing combination’s and blocking will mean the game is easy.

If you do select “Fight!” and jump right in, you will lose in the first 3 rounds as the opponent will get you in a corner and no amount of blocking, parrying or moving will get you out of it.

If somehow you miraculously survive the first 3 rounds, you will lose during the “sudden death” round, as the game is a dirty *expletive deleted* *expletive deleted* cheating *expletive deleted* *expletive deleted* unfair *expletive deleted* *expletive deleted* and frustrating *expletive deleted* *expletive deleted* of a game.

If you do lose and decide to play again in “Brawl For It All” thinking the career mode may somehow be easier or offer more depth of play, you will lose, again, most likely in the “sudden death” round with the second fighter again, and again, and again, and again.

If you do continue to lose like this, even if you spend time in practice mode in order to understand the simple button mashing procedure and learn the nuances of the simple fighting mechanism, you will throw your controller in an unrivalled fit of rage shouting “YOU DIRTY *expletive deleted* *expletive deleted* CHEATING *expletive deleted* *expletive deleted* UNFAIR *expletive deleted* *expletive deleted* AND FRUSTRATING *expletive deleted* *expletive deleted* OF A GAME!”

If you throw your controller in an unrivalled fit of rage, it will break, preventing you playing other, better made, more reasonable, and much more fun videogames.

I repeat. Do not buy this game.

0 stars.

3 Comments so far | Post a comment

So, what’s an Xbox? :)

Sounds like you had a fun weekend with this game, and oh boy, do I know your frustration!? I bought Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter and hated it within the first ten minutes so my weekend was ruined too.

It was so annoying I had to break my own blog code of only 5 lines… :D

Ahh but it was so worth it! :)

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