You only think you know me.
My pain is vast, my suffering ... deep. A sea of tears you would cry if you knew me better. Well ... you wouldn't be crying because you knew me, you would be crying because you knew my pain, my suffering, and the stoic (almost heroic) way I deal with it. Yes. You would gladly clap my upon my broad, powerful shoulders in a brotherly fashion, grinning a roguish grin. You might want me to pull you into a powerful bear-like hug against my barrel-like chest (if you were a female), or clasp your hand with my manly iron grip.
Despite my pain, there is a Devil-May-Care glint in my steely eyes. You just know that my charisma, my daring, my ... love ... will take root in your heart and blossom there. Soon you will claim me as kin, call me friend and wish to share goodness and mercy with me, all the long days of your life.
Am I Good or Evil? I think I am above such small, limited concepts. Oh, I am not saying I play both sides of the fence. Because if I said that, it might be severly misinterpretted, which is to say, WAY beyond the context I wish to outline for you. I am referring to the Seinfeld-ism of playing for both teams; nevermind if you don't get the joke. Anyway, let us say I am most efficacious in the fulfillment of my baser desires. If that means you must die to service my needs, then sobeit.
No, no, that's all wrong. What I meant to say is I am here to serve you. I will die to further your career, no the other way around. Think of me as a common rug, tread upon me as you will. I am furniture. I am servile.
But I am not obsequious. No. I am not some mere toady to be slapped about and treated poorly.
I am the King of the Rats. The highest of the Low, the lowest of the High ones.
Do you know me now? I think, perhaps, you do. I think you recognize me as both the dark figure of your dreams and the braying donkey most quickly come to see me as. A comedian, a razor wit, and often compelled to anguish in the lonley barren nation that is my soul.
I seek membership in this Guild, and, if you accept me, your fellowship in-game.
If you come from the EQOA forums you might recognize my writing. I try to be humourous, and will continue to try to do so here.
And I will quail and fume against injustice and wrong-doing when I see it, on the official forums. I must warn you that the GMs for EQOA held no love for me. Unless it was a secret love. But I doubt it.
Anyway, what do you think? Can I join you? Can I? Please?