Howdy jymbo,
Your wife will have to create her own forum name and post a separate application here. My wife and I are both TOG members as well (though I can't get her to play FE...she's still stuck in EQ2).
As for the swearing in Vent, there is occasionally a bit...although I try to discourage it's use as replacement for comma's and other punctuation. You know how guys are, most won't get excessive with the language when a lady is in the channel....any that haven't learned manners by now I will happily mute for you. We also have several "G" rated channels on our Vent server that are actually restricted from profanity of any kind, although I must tell you that they are rarely used.
Once your (and her) application is approved, you'll each need to post a list of the toons you'd like invited into the TOG Fallen Earth clan
here.
Once that is done you can either wait for one of the officers to catch you online, catch a TOGger and ask if an officer is on, or be proactive and contact one of the officers listed
in this thread. Any method is fine.
Good luck and we look forward to seeing you and the missus out in the wastes!
-Swift