Hi Jez,
Firstly, after reading your post I personally think you'll fit in just fine. There are a lot of people in many different games here in ToG that your sure to find a nice "fit" somewhere.
I am very much involved in the WoW side of things at the moment, however not in a similar time zone or in similar play styles to that of which you speak so I can't offer any specific advice but I can offer some general information based on my experiences with this group of people.
One of the great beauties of ToG is that no matter what your play style, time zone, game of choice or personal preferences there is every chance you will find exactly what you are looking for here. Even on the (IMHO extremely remote) chance that you can't find what you are looking for in game with ToG, the community here is very much worth being a part of just to kick back and chat in the forums with the other toggers.
In my part of the WoW universe, we have many people who enjoy playing very casually and grouping up with other toggers just to have a bit of fun questing and enjoying the many aspects of the game with like minded mature people. There are also many people who are involved in the raiding aspects of the game as well, but as with everything in ToG no one is ever forced to do anything, play in any particular way or be anything they don't want to be.
I hope that this brief bit of information has been usefull in deciding what direction you want to go in, theres plenty of fun to be had here in ToG and plenty of fantastic people here to share those fun times with.
Hope to see the both of you on the forums and in game soon.