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Frustration Max

Posted 15th February 2011 at 02:31 PM by Ebonytears

I am going to rant here in the hope that this will get it out of my system and I can actually get something DONE.
My personality is ...bloody annoying at the best of times. I range across the full spectrum from calm and reliable to boarderline certifiable. People who know me say I'm a people person and I don't understand that. I don't like people. They irritate the hell out of me. I don't mind surface skimming but people tend to feel the need to tell me things and I honestly, really couldn't give a shit most of the time. On the other hand I am very loyal to my friends, know everything about them and will drop everything to be there for them in a time of crisis. The problem is my definition of friends seem to be different from other peoples. Just because we spend time together every now and then doesn't mean I want to know all about your sex life or the problems you are having at work. And I think of the people I know online as friends more than the people I associate with in RL. My mother says it's because there isn't a chance of forming deep and meaningful connections but I am very close to my online friends and know them better than anyone and I share more with them. I would genuinely love to meet every single on of them. Bah! See FOCUS.
This is my main issue today...focus...I have none. It's interfering with my ability to get even the smallest thing done. I sit down to study and I notice the wall is dirty...I get up and start cleaning the wall...I realise I haven't practiced my knots for ses and I really should so I leave the half cleaned wall to go do that...half way through I notice my book...I start reading....I should be studying..so I go to do that but the smell of the kitty litter distracts me...when I've finished doing that I pick up my book again...notice the half done knot and pick that up, want a cuppa..make one and sit back down at my desk and start studying..........nsdfjkvgk;asjdfriowa;ifehrlitguh arugh

I hate days like this!!! I have been tossing up the idea of thowing a blue stain in my hair because my hair is annoying me at the moment. I want to grow it long so I am trying to avoid cutting it all off...to do that I tend to color it. But I don't want to go totally blue. Do I just do patches? Maybe streaks? How about just dye the ends blue?.....this has me at the point where I now can't color my hair and it's annoying the utter crap out of me.

Honestly....it's got me stuffed how I function at all some days.

And my mother wonders why I don't have a mass of friends or a boyfriend BAH!!!!!!
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  1. Old Comment
    delushin's Avatar
    You sound like a dam good problem solver to me and so long as your confidence at hand regarding the concept around situational awareness is strong, people will be drawn to that. It is comforting and inviting that is why they open up to you, sometimes we are given things we don't wont and can't shake.

    Similar experiences have happened to me and the frustration of taking on others life expressions as well as having to deal with ones own can be very overwhelming. This why the online interaction with real people can be so awesome:

    • You don't have to deal with the cold they might give you in real life
    • You don't have to hold them while they cry in fact the chances of even hearing them cry are next to none
    • You don't have to commit to birthdays and dinner parties
    • You don't have to let them stay with you cause they have been kicked out
    • You don't have to hide under the couch when they just "POP" round to say hi for no reason other then to catch you playing Wii naked
    • You can just turn them off whenever you want

    Oh man the list goes on, but see then on the other hand who will be there if those things happen to me? If I need a hug, if I need a place to stay, if I need someone to talk to.

    So for my experience I have been able to find REAL friends, the friends that are there for me as I am for them but our understanding is the same and it doesn't matter if we don't talk for 3 months or only send a few text's and maybe a call in the year because a REAL friend would be there when needed despite limited contact.

    I could probably count those friends on one hand and it works out perfect for all of us.

    Posted 7th March 2011 at 05:31 PM by delushin delushin is offline

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