A departure of sorts
Posted 27th June 2011 at 02:04 PM by Talera
It is days like today I hate my job. Well to phrase it better I donít hate my job, I hate some of the things Iím exposed to.
Normally I love my job, even with all the frustrations. While I get exposed to negative things, it still interests me. While many would find those exposures upsetting or tragic, I tend to be able to distance myself from them and deal with the task at hand.
Occasionally I have the days where the Ďthingí Iím exposed to is so tragic not even I can distance myself. It is today, one of those tragic days, where I hate my job.
Today someone died at the hands of another. While my rational mind knows I could not prevent it no matter what I did and ultimately it was not I who was dealing with the taker, knowing my colleagues were makes me wonder if I had just had more involvement, gave more guidanceÖ
I canít go into too much here because of the nature of my work and I must remain confidential to do with my involvement in the perpetratorís (sorry alleged) life. I canít even contact the victimís family to advise them of just how sorry I am for their loss. Rationally I know there was nothing I or my colleagues could have done to prevent the tragedy. Still my human nature comes into to second guess things in an irrational and purely emotive manner.
I know this is not the sort of thing normally discussed in these blogs. I know that most people want to read about gaming and geeky topics.
I donít write this in order for sympathy, I know my emotions will pass once my head regains control. I simply write these words because I feel I need to say sorry to someone, but due to my job requirements this is the only way I can.
Sorry for your loss.