Sounds like ya'll just need to find another type of shooter for a while. If you crave teamwork I highly recommend Left 4 Dead 2
Not that I'm bias or anything, hehe.
Seriously though, the trend with these shooters (Modern Warfare, MOH ect) seems to focus on selfish "you're superman" rewards. All the perks, rewards, stats ect it's all very self centred, even the in game rewards/kill-streaks is totally selfish "lone killa" gameplay design. The designers aren't focusing on supporting team based gameplay mechanics in the slightest.
If you're playing these kind of games for the team based gameplay then I can't help but think you're not the intended audience. Black Ops seems to be pushing further down this very selfish game design path with personal contracts and XP ect with almost nothing new added to the game to support or encourage any kind of team orientated play. This is probably going to get me some haters but I honestly believe these are not team multiplayer games. Trying to play them as such will just cause endless frustration.
Try playing something like L4D, even in pub servers where you have 1 or 2 mates on your team and you'll soon see how team focused shooters can be. If "teamplay" is really your thing, L4D 1/2, TF2/DOD, BC2 and Brink should be on your radar - leave the selfish Quake/CS/CODs to the egotists they're deliberately targeted at.