Spider Dance

Wayfarer | 9 September 2008 | 10 comments (off)

Here’s a repeat of a story that first appeared in the TOG Lounge about a year or so ago.

You’ve heard of the spider dance, right?
It’s a primeval condition of human nature to do a little, but panicky, jig after walking into a spider web. That moment of sheer terror. You wave your arms about, hop from foot to foot, look left, look right, look over your back, slap your hair wildly with both hands and stare manically at anyone who can tell you exactly where it is.

It seems to me that no matter who we are, or where we’re from, we all do the exact same dance.

I didn’t know cats did it too.

For the last few days we’ve had a huntsman spider visit us. The novelty has worn off as they aren’t uncommon in our bushland home . We have adequate fly screens so there’s not much for the wayward spider to eat. If I don’t pack them up and walk them outside they will disappear or die a hungry death. Occasionally, they’ll be eaten by any one or all three of our cats.

I walked into our bedroom to find these three cats lined up against the wall waiting for the spider to come down and play. Obligingly, I used a small paintbrush to push it off the wall.

It landed on Mycroft.

He did a spider dance.

It only lasted about 10 seconds but to him it must have been an eternity. He ran backward a little, forward a little, shook his head madly, shook his tail and paws, spun around and generally panicked. He backed away from it when it fell on the ground.

Anyway, a few moments later I returned to the room to see all three cats staring at the wardrobe.
SWMBO’s side of the wardrobe.
I debated whether to tell her. What sort of trouble will I be in now?

Later I told her the story and she freaked. It’s all my fault, naturally. Now she needs to shake clothes out when she pulls them from the wardrobe but she’ll never really know if there’s a spider hiding.

I await another spider dance, this time from SWMBO.

10 Comments so far

Hmmm nothing a rolled up mews paper couldn’t fix.

I think you know how I feel about anything that has more then 4 legs.  If it doesn’t contribute to the mortgage it’s foregone it’s right to live as soon as it enters my land.

Spiders in particular I hate and those huntsmans are the biggest ones I ever had to kill, they don’t even want to die.

I learned one thing, don’t spray them as they just run off and you will never sleep again.

I put a CD spindle cover onto them and then I spray the gas into it, cruel I know but I’m sure I got it that way.

Spiderman will not be impressed Father.

Revenge is a sticky web which will pin you to the wall.........upside down........and several floors up.

At least Way didn’t kill the spider...........just sent in his CAT - curious assault team.

Haha, I’ve thrown a typewriter, one of those old heavy ones, at a spider before. It was bigger than my hand. Sadly, when you’re 13 your aim with typewriters isn’t so good and all I did was put a hole in the wall and severly piss off a giant spider.

Huntsman are the worst, they’re “primative” spiders which means they can’t bend in the middle to bring their fangs down on top of their prey so instead they have bigger legs to jump at stuff - freaks me right out. I know this because I though studying and learning about spiders would make me fear them less. To date, my worst idea ever.

HaHA ... I know about these huntsmen spiders, having lived in houses that have copious amounts of bushland behind them. 

There is the story of one day that I was at work. my wife was home alone, albeit very pregnant at the time, when she had a close encounter of the eight legged kind.  The diameter of the spider including it’s legs was as large as a dinner plate.  The spider was staring at her from the archway between the loungeroom and dining / kitchen area of the house. 

Being in the state my wife was in, and not being particularly fond of said spider, she panicked, fled the house, and went henceforth to the mother in law’s house.  It was left to me, at the end of work, to come home, find the incriminating eight legged fiend and destroy it.  Then having to dispose of the evidence and clean the stain off the wall as well.

Unforgettable moment for me ... makes me chuckle just thinking about it.

I hate flies so I kinda like spiders, still do the spider dance though.

You know, rubber spider’s aren’t that expensive… at least not upfront. :p

I don’t mind spiders.  If they leave me alone, I will leave them alone.

We never had ones as big as huntsman in Canada, but we do have decent sized wolf spiders.

When I was growing up, my bedroom and our TV room was downstairs in the basement.  My mother, being a shift-worker would watch TV late after we were all asleep.  There were many times when I would hear a screech from the TV room, my name being called for me to come and save her.  I have never understood why a creature as small as a spider could get someone as large as a human so panicky. 

Just because I am who I am, I used to pick up the spider, show it to my mother up close (just to get her to scream some more) then take it outside and let it go.  Yes, I was a rotten son. :)

I’ve always loved this little story, one of my fav’s from Way. His kitteh’s look so relaxed most of the time too, it’s quite amusing to fathom the idea of a spider cat dance.

A spider cat dance (the dance a spider does when a cat is on it), or a cat spider dance (the dance a cat does when a spider is on it)? The former would look like this I think.

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