WoW: Call Me Inktomi - Part One

Arep | 4 February 2008 | 0 Comments

Call Me Inktomi - Part One
By Julie Whitefeather

Call me Inktomi. In my homeland I was a princess, thousands lived and died at my command. Okay, maybe not a princess, but all the same…thousands lived and died at my command. Alright, alright I wasn’t a princess, nobody lived and died at my command but I was definitely, DEFINITELY well thought of. Ok. Nobody ever heard of me. None of it is true. But one thing IS true. Where I come from, Steamwheedle Port, there is an expression:

Martoc Si Viveret Ad Remum Dareris…

“If Martoc were alive today you would be chained to an oar”; And since Martoc is very much alive today, as well his lieutenant, that walking anthropomorphic hunk of swamp stench, Crajen, I – a lone goblin - found myself chained to an oar.

The Blackrock clan and the Frostwolf clan have been at war for centuries. How did it all start? I don’t even think they know any more. The problem with orcs is they seem to like to fight. I hear it is in their blood – literally. If they don’t have someone else to fight, in short order they will start fighting each other. Orcs in Steamwheedle tend to look down at us, and I don’t mean just because of how short we are. The second biggest problem that goblins had in Steamwheedle was drunken orcs. The first biggest problem was being under one of the orcs when they fall over dead drunk Usually that is not a problem, because little else stinks worse than a drunken orc. They stink out loud and you can usually smell them coming. And since you can smell a drunken orc coming, and the same drunken orcs tend to get violent, that is why small gobo’s like me tend to try and avoid them.

I had come to town to deliver the wooden beams my dad had carved for a boat. They were going to be shipped to a boat builder in Rachet. Dad had in mind for his daughter to become a engineer like himself. He never had me in mind to become a warrior, but circumstances forced me to become one. The circumstances that set my feet on that path were that evening, after dad had made his delivery, when I was shanghaied by what I thought was a drunken Frostwolf orc. What it was, was a very sober Blackrock orc that worked for Crajen, and Craejen works for Martoc. So I now have a second expression for you:

Go to bed with dogs, wake up with fleas…go to bed in Steamwheedle, wake up on a Blackrock slaver.

© 2008 all game content copyright Blizzard Entertainment© 2008 all other content copyright Julie Whitefeather

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