Gaming and Relationships

Discussion in 'The Barracks' started by Ned, Oct 13, 2003.

  1. Ned

    Ned Public Forum Coordinator

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    Gaming and relationships... or should I say... Gaming Vs Relationships.

    How many people here have restrictions on the time thay can game because of a partner? Would you rather be gaming or are you happy to keep your partner happy and leave the computer when they ask? Anyone here done the extreme and left a partner to be able to game more?

    How many people have gaming partners? 8O (The Holy Grail)

    A friend of mine recently had a break up with his girlfriend. His computer played a large part in the relationship downfall. My brother is also going through a bit of grief with his fiance ever since he got cable.

    Comments please :)
     
  2. Mad

    Mad Retired Captain

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    No I dont have a gaming partner ... see my signature ;)
     
  3. Arienne

    Arienne The Woman in Red Staff Member Administrator Moderator

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    Mrs Cailith has to be about the most understanding gaming widow I know of. But she definitely puts her foot down occasionally and I leave the computer well alone when that happens :)
     
  4. Mad

    Mad Retired Captain

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    Every woman should be like Vamp, or we must come up with the TOG partners support group :)
     
  5. Coronary

    Coronary EverQuest 2 Advisor

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    See Caliths reply, my wife is about the same. Im home when I do it so she's happy about that, in fact I'd rather be here than anywhere else lol. Sometimes though she gets over the whole computer thing and I lave it for a weekend and then shes fine.
     
  6. HellDad

    HellDad Well-Known Member

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    Ned, if you have access to the private forums, there is one on RELATIONSHIPS that you will find interesting.
    I find that my gaming is tolerated a lot more that it otherwise would be simply because my Mrs sees that there is an organised group of real people involved, plus a lot of my gaming hours are done while she is asleep.
     
  7. Janus

    Janus Hope is Alive

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    I'm pretty lucky. In two ways.

    1. Mrs. Janus is pretty understanding - she accepts my gaming addiction. I guess it helped that I'd already had the gaming addiction when we first met, so that's always been a facet of me that she's now fairly used to.

    2. She goes to sleep early. I hit the sack pretty late, usually. Hence, more gaming time late at night when all is quiet and peaceful.

    Every now and then she'll start making "I want more together time." noises. Have learned to pick up on those signals now, and shut the box down for a bit and we'll have a weekend out (or in) together just hanging out.

    If there are any organised events - be they hunts, matches, LANs, whatever - I always give her plenty of notice. It never hurts to be prepared. :)
     
  8. Iko

    Iko Getting Started

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    Well.

    My husband and I have a tradition since the first week we started dating: one dinner-out meal every week. It could be a hole-in-the-wall Chinese place or a fancy Italian restaurant, but we always eat out. We love food and we love structuring a weekly bonding experience surrounding food. The rest of the week, he cooks dinner for me and we sit around the table and talk about our day or politics or literature or whatever.

    Outside of those two events, we pretty much structure our lives as we want. We're both gamer geeks (of all kinds, we go to table-top RP conventions three or four times a year) and we both understand the need to play. Once in a blue moon, one of us will ask the other for more "bonding time" and we watch a movie or play a game (We love Battle Cry. A week ago was only the second or third time ever that he whipped my Southern butt). We're also kinda hermits, so we require very little human contact for our sanity. Heh.

    I did break up with a few guys because they don't really understand my relationship with my computer. "Sorry, when I'm engrossed, I will ignore you and everything that you say. Yes, even when you are naked." Thankfully, Mike (hubby) is really cool about it. He'll make a note to bother me later and he only really shakes me out of my reverie when there's something that really needs my attention.
     
  9. Py-or

    Py-or Active Member

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    Yep I pretty much follow what Ikoru says!

    I have been gaming for a long time now and totally enjoy it, My husband is a bit of a techno geek anyway so things are usually pretty harmoniious in our house.

    The most important thing is to still make time to spend with each other a couple of times a week. All laddermatches have to go into the diary so he can see whether or not I am available at that time.

    Then again he is just lucky Im here....LOL :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  10. Bennett

    Bennett Active Member

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    LOL@Ikoru ... the imagery! :lol:

    I have a gaming wife so I'm pretty happy. :D

    Nonetheless, I still need reserve some "Mrs Bennett time" like all the above. Unfortunately, The Sims is really buggy atm so that's affecting her gaming experience. I just can't wait for The Sims 2 to come out! :D

    At the end of the day is all about balancing. It's all too easy to get carried away with the gaming so getting checked now and again ain't such a bad thing. :)
     
  11. RedMan

    RedMan Retired Advisor

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    lol
    Well, my kids come first, I had em so I haveta look after em. Which means I get no gaming time at all during the day really, if you see me on anything as SOON as something happens I dissappear, even if I'm in the middle of a conversation.

    Basically I get between 10-11 at night to play games before a work day, and upto about 12 on a weekend.
    I've had my misses come up and chat to me about things during that time, I normally let her chat while glancing back now and then ;) She doesn't get angry no more because its normally at most an HOUR in a day that I get to do what I by myself want to do.
    In RTS games that doesn't work, I learnt to let the game go if what was being said was important, I also spell out that I just lost a game, or that half my base was just destroyed... :?

    From the old days the main problem with 'too much time in front of the computer' issue was I never had a set time I got in front of the computer, stuff was left undone, or there were no future plans for my week with my woman etc. Since I play SWG after reboot for an hour or so each night, for the last 2 months I have had this problem ONCE, and she was just in a crappy mood and looking for something to blame, cause the night before I hadn't even switched on the comp ;), I mentioned that piece of logic but it just seemed to get me in more trouble... :cry:
     
  12. Wayfarer

    Wayfarer Well-Known Member

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    The Loved One (TLO) is a Lawyer. AND suffers serverly from the woman's "thing". So, not only do I need to contend with a person who's natural born ability is to argue a point (woman) but is able to do it with professional detatchment (lawyer) but with gusto (thing) too!

    Stop laughing; it's not funny.

    And you'd think I am smart enough to recognise approaching doom each month? No way; I have my head in my game and never see it coming. All I can do is turn of the PC, put my hands over my head and run like buggery past her into some other part of the house looking for a "quality time-relationship building" credit.

    Honestly, I only spend 3-4hrs a day on the net, and most of that is from 9pm.

    When I am a good boy, I find things to do with TLO and the children so we can live a normal life, so it's not as bad as I make out. :)

    A GX pal, a female gamer (female= relationship expert), once said to me that the time you spend on computers or any other hobby, if it is excessive, is usually the result/symptom of a relationship problem rather than the cause. I agree with her. If peole can't run away from relationship problems (or solve them) then they tend to hide. Hiding in a hobby is a good place :)
     
  13. Delta2

    Delta2 Getting Started

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    my computer was the other women (it was the only one that cauld take a 3 and half inch floppy with out complaint) :twisted: my wife hated it, even though kids did their homework, I did all the banking and paying bills etc.

    She hated the idea of me staying home looking after 3 kids under the age of 5, doing house work, and having time to play comp games as well, half life and unreal tournement. She would come home from work and feel the computer to see if was warm, then crack off if it was.
    I had to cook every meal, bath the kids, clean up, she used to put her feet up and watch tv and complane about what an awful job i was doing.

    After 3 years of that me and the computer left and we have been happy ever since. after a few months the kids followed me as well. :lol:
     
  14. Wayfarer

    Wayfarer Well-Known Member

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    Look there TLO. See! Delta2 is right! A family who plays together stays together :)

    I know how you feel Delta2, I was home for 4 months on long service leave with an 18mth and 6.5yo. I managed to doo all the home chores, look after the kids and do the cooking etc etc much more effeciently than TLO, yet if I touched that 'puter....
     
  15. Iko

    Iko Getting Started

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    My husband is a homemaker and we have no children, so he spends the day doing house-related things and playing games. We've been together for 10 years, married for 2 (although we do admit that we got married for the tax and medical benefits; it was a very short and practical affair done at the local courthouse).

    We're both really... practical. I mean, outside of the gaming obsession. Heh.

    Haven't y'all played Bejewel? If so, haven't you seen the Penny Arcade strip about it (http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2001-01-08). That's me and my husband right there. Especially in regards to Bejewel.

    I no longer have that evil game installed on my machine. Ugh. I'm still recovering.
     
  16. Rickety

    Rickety Administrator Administrator Moderator

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    Keep it up guys and gals. I need more convincing to never leave the house just in case I might meet someone and ruin my gaming life.
     
  17. thedarf

    thedarf Getting Started

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    My partner (wife) is VERY understanding with my gaming. She is very lenient and lets me come on whenever I want to. The only restrictions are when visitors turn up, or houshold or other duties need doing.

    But to be fair, we both have our own interests, as well as the things we do together. We respect each other as individuals as well as being partners.

    I think that is part of a good relationship, not living in each others pockets, respecting the other person and having your own life as well as a shared life.

    Thats my little bit anyway :D

    cheers
    thedarf
     
  18. Max_Headroom

    Max_Headroom Getting Started

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    I don't have any restrictions as such but a healthy respect for Mrs Headrooms wishes always helps keep the peace. I work from home and spend large amounts of time on the puter but I seldom game during the day.(only cause I'm too busy) Mrs Headroom is a firm believer in the " it could be worse, he could be down the pub getting pissed or shagging other women...so in the scheme of things the puter is pretty harmless"

    I tend to do most of my gaming when she is doing something else and always allocate plenty of time for the kids...who are both gamers...I started em young!!!!!
     
  19. ledge

    ledge Getting Started

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    A friend once told me that it's cheaper to hire a prostitute once a week, than to get married and have kids. The offshoot from this is that you also have more time for computer games.
    Does anyone follow this model? :)
     
  20. Janus

    Janus Hope is Alive

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    This model would work if you were only planning on "using" your wife only for sex...

    Unfortunately, prostitutes don't provide among their services love and support, friendship, companionship, common interests, interesting discussions and fights, conversation, ego-management, .. anyway, you can see what I'm getting at. :)

    You're right though - the Prostitute model (hopefully a prostitute who is also a model!) would provide more gaming time.
     

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