Gaming and Relationships

Discussion in 'The Barracks' started by Ned, Oct 13, 2003.

  1. Quant

    Quant Active Member

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    Then you will have to try some other application.

    If she is into needle point, there are applications which allow you to print out custom templates. Ditto for Dress making and upteen other handicraft applications.

    My cousin trades craft material on ebay to fund his wife's handicraft hobby. So he was able to justify replacing the dialup modem with ADSL and is actively planning his new PC upgrade.

    If she is into soap operas, configure the browser so she is able to instantly link and login to forums which allow her to discuss her favourite soapy stars.

    If she is into collecting, setting up a database to track items and maintain her database. My friend brews beer and his wife tracks the recipes against the brews and hosts it on their web page.

    If she does the accounting, set her up with Quicken or Money program.

    If she is a star wars fan - get her some Lucas Arts games and work her up towards Star Wars Galaxy.

    If she likes D&D Roleplaying games, get her started on Never Winter nights or Dungeon Siege or Diablo II or Evercrack.

    If she likes puzzles, get her a puzzle generator program.

    With Windoze building 3D acceleration into the base operating system, even the most mundane applications will need you to upgrade to a Radeon 9800XT before you can load the desktop. :roll:

    This is the boiling frog strategy. Slowly raise the temperature or she will jump out (like Mrs. Calith) before she is done.

    You know your wife best, so work out what she enjoys most and work the computer into becoming the indispensible tool. Start with the practical and then get her hooked onto some electronic eye candy and extend her PC usage time until it matches yours. :)
     
  2. Arienne

    Arienne The Woman in Red Staff Member Administrator Moderator

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    Actually I don't need to - I get my fix of gaming as it is, she is quite happy for me to play in moderation :)
     
  3. Quant

    Quant Active Member

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    But you want to play in "excess" with her blessing. :lol:

    After all, you don't want to drop out of the next ladder game because you got "Wifed" or having used up all your wife points for this week.
     
  4. jagge

    jagge Just Joined

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    Yeah getting wifey points is the hard bit! its a delicate balancing act!!!
    even moderation would be good :cry:

    i like the way u think....
    now to sweet talk her into something that needs an upgraded computer and a fast internet link
     
  5. Janus

    Janus Hope is Alive

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    Hey Quant.. Mrs. Quant doesn't read these forums like Mrs. Janus likes to do every now and again, does she? 8)
     
  6. Quant

    Quant Active Member

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  7. Quant

    Quant Active Member

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  8. Quant

    Quant Active Member

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    :oops: Whoops, better move these pearls of wisdom from "Secret Mens business" into the Private forums. :twisted: :lol:
     
  9. Ned

    Ned Public Forum Coordinator

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    exactly 8)
     
  10. Mad

    Mad Retired Captain

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    ROFL, but you might meet your perfect match while playing SWG or Sims online ;)
     
  11. your_Mother

    your_Mother Getting Started

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    Why not just 'build one' in the SIMS... :p

    *Ahem* ... Anyway...

    :D

    your Mother.
     
  12. Flame

    Flame Retired Captain

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    So should we start up the "wifed" score table?
    <hehe>
     
  13. Wayfarer

    Wayfarer Well-Known Member

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    I have come a long way to settling the "wifing".

    1. Hit her for six with this pearler:
    "My hobby is as important to me as your's is to you. I help and support you in yours, why don't you do the same for me?"

    2. Save up your spare pocket money for PC upgrades. Our dual income is combined each payday into a single account, and eventho LoneWife is our financial controller (social director, laundry wench, part time child raiser, Dispute resolution expert and regualr family size dragon once a luna cycle) we each take out $50 each per week for ourselves. That leaves me $30 in hand after the broadband is paid. At that rate I can afford to upgrade my machine every twelve months or so. (I don't save the whole $30 every week)

    3. Three times a year I leave hints on gifts: Father's day, Birthday and Christmas.
     
  14. Zlipzlop

    Zlipzlop Active Member

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    Slightly different approach to upgrades in our house

    Wife buys dress or skirt
    ZZ buys few new cables and stuff

    Wife buys lotsa lunches with workmates
    ZZ buys optical drive

    Wife buys wardrobe
    ZZ buys new motherboard

    Wife gets floorboards polished
    ZZ buys video card + everything else.

    I have agreed to the floors being polished! :D
     
  15. Father

    Father The Boss Staff Member Administrator Moderator

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    We live on credit!

    Buy whatever we want within reason off course!

    Can't take your money into your grave, but you know what, you can't take your debts either!
    :D

    Not a good way of doing things I know, but what else can you do to have a bit of a life too.
     
  16. Py-or

    Py-or Active Member

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    I am soooo lucky...

    all i had to do was say... this computer is shit..I need a new one..then all of a sudden I had a new one and then he had a new one 8O (not part of the original plan ie mine)
    Not being able to say anything of course about his new computer ... :roll: arggghhhh

    But all in all, we are both happy spending lots of time sitting next to each other happily doing our own thing and sharing funny stories that happen by..
     
  17. Janus

    Janus Hope is Alive

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    Thanks ZZ! :mrgreen:

    I'm thinking that what with Mrs. Janus wanting a new (and fairly expensive, I might add) dining table, I'm up for an upgrade!
     
  18. Aphid

    Aphid Getting Started

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    LOL, great thread. I have this problem also, although on a different playing field than the rest of you. My significant other grumbles all the time about my late night gaming - but I have found that the SIMS Online solution works well for me, too.

    :)
     
  19. Asru

    Asru Active Member

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    Bah! Rant on.

    I think the problem was indirectly pointed to by the people who got offended at whatever got deleted. Being a new student of comedy, I think humor is sacred and we don't get enough of it. No one on these forums seriously intends to cast aspersions to people based on gender, race, or what have you, we're all cool people (except for me...I rant ;) ).

    The problem is this: People Take Life Too Seriously.

    Yes, I'm a hardcore gamer. Yes I've left a partner or three because they couldn't handle my passion. I love games. I'm also a musician. These things take away from "normal" relationships, but I'm not a normal guy and I don't want a normal relationship...especially if it means "I have to spend attention time on my significant other for the sole reason that it makes them feel insecure if I don't". They are taking the attention too seriously, which means they are taking Life Too Seriously.

    We all do this (even the great Asru, who's humble and modest and all that) from time to time. Still, I've found that my gaming passion tends to highlight this trait in others. I think "the need for attention" is a trait that is a relationship breaker irrespective of what it is that I do that does not grant her the attention she wants. This is quite different from "the gift of attention" which should happen unbidden and without a sense of duty with it.

    If you really love someone, and they have a passion for something, taking that passion away is a sign that maybe it's not love. If someone I love loves doing something, I want them to do that because it makes them happy.

    Anyway, rant off. I just thought the offensensitivity was a bit much, and I got offended by it. ;)

    There were some good posts here. For my own situation, I've grown to enjoy sitting down and immersing myself in a game for 12+ hours. Finding a partner that could do that with me is like winning the lottery. I might invest 5 dollars in a ticket, but I'm realistic about the outcome. :lol:
     
  20. Fizzlewick

    Fizzlewick Getting Started

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    My wife is very anti-tech but understands that I am the complete opposite.

    Back in the old days of Nintendo I would send several hours playing. When EQ started up I was completly engulfed in the game. I would play from the time I got home to early in the morning. Weekends were solid game play from the time I awoke to way into the night, and quite often until 5 am or so.

    This almost ended the relationship in divorce. That was my wake up call. I realized that I was very close to loseing a person that I deeply care for, all for a world that does not truly exist. I stopped all gaming at that point. I did not game at all for several months.

    I did however feel a loss in regards to my gaming and decided to jump on-line again, but to do so in moderation. My wife was upset by this decision. I explained to her that she is very important to me and that I care for her very much. I went on to say that I also found great joy in gaming and that this to was something I wanted as a part of my life. She was aprehensive about my going back to gaming but understood the need I have for it in my life.

    It took time for me to find a balance between my gaming life and real life. I learned to sense her needs in accordance to my own. That is an important skill to learn should you value you mate. It was a rather bumpy ride at first but eventually smoothed out.

    There are signs that you can look for when your significant other is in need of a little extra attention. When you notice those signs it is important to act on them, even if they show themselves during a normal gaming time. Just shut down the game for awhile and spend some quality time with your mate. This time can be a simple as watching a television show or as extensive as a weekend get away. aside for this, I make time to spend with my wife on a daily basis. We hang out for a bit after returning from the work day. I play for a few hours or so, usually 3-4. We then settle in and watch TV and chat until its time for bed. On the weekends we either take play days and run to town or work around the house on various projects. I then play in the evenings until 12 or 1 am.

    I find that I have plenty of time now for all of the activities in my life even with my being a hard core gamer. My wife and I are both satisfied with the way things are going now. Its all about balance and moderation. Game to your hearts content, but always take time for the important things in life or you may just look up from your screen one day and find that they are gone.

    Tyberion
     

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