Who's on first?

Discussion in 'The Barracks' started by Wayfarer, Jul 14, 2004.

  1. Wayfarer

    Wayfarer Well-Known Member

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  2. Ned

    Ned Public Forum Coordinator

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    8O who??
     
  3. viking

    viking Retired Advisor

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    whats

    I think whats on second and i don't know's on third :D

    This is a classic :D
     
  4. OBI

    OBI Active Member

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    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  5. StockMan

    StockMan Retired Advisor

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    I like it, I like itttttt :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  6. Warbear.Prime

    Warbear.Prime Well-Known Member

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    I just sprayed cereal over my desk - thanks!

    :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p :p
     
  7. Ashin

    Ashin Retired Administrator

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    That was GREAT! :D Love it when my son can hear something like that even if Star Wars was added. He could not stop laughing :lol: :lol:

    Ashin
     
  8. butterfly

    butterfly Well-Known Member

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    Mushy keyboard... mmmmmmmmmmmmm
     
  9. Flame

    Flame Retired Captain

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    Clever remake of the old classic.
    nice. :D
     
  10. Drebin

    Drebin Well-Known Member

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    hehehe very good :)
     
  11. Xenogog

    Xenogog Getting Started

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    doh, who was on first base :roll:
     
  12. Wayfarer

    Wayfarer Well-Known Member

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    Yes.
     
  13. Slugger

    Slugger Getting Started

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    Classic :D :D :D
     
  14. Wayfarer

    Wayfarer Well-Known Member

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    Here is the whole skit:

    Costello: I understand you used to coach a baseball team?

    Abbott: Yes, I did. It was a pretty good team, in fact.

    Costello: Were your players good enough to make the big leagues?

    Abbott: Well, yes.

    Costello: Hey, why don't you tell us some of their names because they might be famous some day.

    Abbott: O.K. Let's see, on the bases we have-Who's on first, What's on second, and l Don't-Know's on third

    Costello: Wait a minute. You're the manager of the team, aren't you?

    Abbott: Yes.

    Costello: You're supposed to know all the fellows' names?

    Abbott: Of course.

    Costello: O.K., then, the first baseman's name.

    Abbott: Who.

    Costello: The guy on first.

    Abbott: Who.

    Costello: The first baseman

    Abbott: Who is on first base.

    Costello: I'm asking you who's on first base.

    Abbott: That's the man's name.

    Costello: That's whose name?

    Abbott: Yes.

    Costello: Look, all I want to know is, what's the name of the guy on first base?

    Abbott: No, no-What's on second.

    Costello: Who's on second?

    Abbott: Who's on first.

    Costello: I don't know.

    Abbott: He's on third.

    Costello: Third base? Look-how did we get on third base?

    Abbott: Well, you mentioned the man's name.

    Costello: Whose name?

    Abbott: No, Who is on first.

    Costello: I don't know.

    Abbott: He's on third.

    Costello: Hey, if I mentioned the guy's name, who did I say was on third?

    Abbott: Who is on first.

    Costello: I'm not asking you who's on first ...

    Abbott: Who is on first.

    Costello: I want to know what's the name of the guy on third base.

    Abbott: No. What's on second.

    Costello: Who's on second?

    Abbott: Who's on first.

    Costello: I don't know!

    Both: Third base.

    Costello: All right. just forget the infield. Let's go to the outfield. Do you have a left fielder?

    Abbott: Of course we have a left fielder.

    Costello: The left fielder's name.

    Abbott: Why.

    Costello: Well, I just thought I'd ask.

    Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell you.

    Costello: Then go ahead and tell me. What's the left fielder's name?

    Abbott: What's on second.

    Costello: Who's on second?

    Abbott: Who's on first.

    Costello: I don't know!

    Both: Third base.

    Costello: Let's try again, The left fielder's name?

    Abbott: Why.

    Costello: Because.

    Abbott: No, he's our center fielder.

    Costello:(exasperated) Look. Let's go back to the infield. Do you pay your guys anything?

    Abbott: Yes, as a matter of fact, we give them a little something for uniforms

    Costello: O.K. Look, it's payday and all the guys are lined up to get paid. The first
    baseman is standing at the front of the line. Now he reaches out to you
    to accept his money. Now, who gets the money?

    Abbott: That's right.

    Costello: So who gets the money?

    Abbott: Why not? He's earned it.

    Costello: Who has?

    Abbott: Certainly. Why sometimes even his mother takes the money for him.

    Costello: Whose mother?

    Abbott: Yes.

    Costello: Look. All I am trying to find out is what's the name of your first baseman.

    Abbott: What's on second.

    Costello: Who's on second?

    Abbott: Who's on first.

    Costello: I don't know!

    Abbott: Third base.

    Costello: O.K. OK, I'll try again. Do you have a pitcher?

    Abbott: Of course we have a pitcher. What kind of team would we be without a pitcher?

    Costello: The pitcher's name?

    Abbott: Tomorrow.

    Costello: What time?

    Abbott: What time what?

    Costello: What time tomorrow are you going to tell me who's pitching?

    Abbott: How many times do I have to tell you? Who is on first.

    Costello: You say who's on first one more time and I'll break your arm. I want to know what's your pitcher's name?

    Abbott: What's on second.

    Costello: Who's on second?

    Abbott: Who's on first.

    Ist man: I don't know!

    Abbott: He's on third.

    Costello: The catcher's name?

    Abbott: Today.

    Costello: Today. Tomorrow. What kind of team is this? All right. Let me set up hypothetical play. Now, Tomorrow's pitching. Today's catching. I am up at bat Tomorrow pitches to me and I bunt the ball down the first base line. Today being the good catcher that he is, runs down the first base line, picks up the ball and throws it to the first baseman. Now, when he throws the ball to the first baseman. who gets the ball?

    Abbott: That's the first right thing you've said all night.

    Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about. Look, if he throws the ball to first, somebody has to catch it. So who gets the ball?

    Abbott: Naturally.

    Costello: Who catches it?

    Abbott: Naturally.

    Ist man: Ohhhhhh. Today picks up the ball and throws it to Naturally

    Abbott: He does nothing of the kind. He throws the ball to Who.

    Costello: Naturally.

    Abbott: Right.

    Costello: I just said that. You say it.

    Abbott: He picks up the ball and throws it to Who.

    Costello: Naturally.

    Abbott: That's what I'm saying.

    Costello: Look. Bases are loaded. Somebody gets up to bat and hits a line drive to Who. Who throws to What. What throws to I-Don't-Know. Triple Play! Next batter gets up and hits a long ball to Why. Because? I Don't Know! No, he's on third and I don't give a darn!

    Abbott: What?

    Costello: I said I don't give a darn!

    Abbott: Hey, he's our shortstop!
     
  15. HellDad

    HellDad Well-Known Member

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    You know, I never really noticed before, but that is worthy of a Python skit even though it predated Python by about 30 years. :)
     
  16. GiTFiDDle

    GiTFiDDle Active Member

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    :lol: :lol: I remember getting in late and watching abbott and costello late nights on the weekends. one of the local stations would run them all night. thanks for the memories :D :wink:
     
  17. wedgey

    wedgey Getting Started

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    Wayfarer yer a champion, Classic comedy :)
     
  18. Arienne

    Arienne The Woman in Red Staff Member Administrator Moderator

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    That is brilliant! :D
     

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